The benefits of decent aerobic exercise, I'll explain wtf in a sec:
- Lungs become larger and more efficient, increasing O2 throughout body
- More red blood cells
- Heart and lung muscles strengthen
- Cardiac output increased so heart has to beats less
- Resting heart rate decreases, heart lasts longer
- More capillaries, healthier organs
- More mitochondria
- Better muscle endurance
- Decrease in Coronary Heart Disease risk
- Decreased blood pressure
- Increased bone density which needs to be built up in youth
- Body fat decreases
- Bad cholesterol decreases
- Increased flexibility
- Stronger joints, ligaments, tendons which can't be significantly improved in old age
- Increased blood and oxygen flow to the brain
- Increased growth factors that help create new nerve cells
- Increased chemicals in the brain that help cognition
- You can sometimes eat a pie
This morning, I heard an obstructively large individual exclaim: "What do I need to exercise for? I'll just have a Diet Pie for lunch". Pfffff!! I immediately longed to counter-obstruct this carefree pie-hard by standing in front of him in the Greggs queue, wearing a tee shirt emblazoned with the above list. Diet Pie? Now, I remember my exhausting pie days, and I wasn't aware it was possible to make pastry without a subcutaneously crippling blend of lard, suet, shortening and various other mortal ingredients. I *definitely* recall the satisfying effect of pure lard in my meat 'n potato pie lunches, flushed down by a slice of 'fruity' winberry pie. This, shamefully, had *nothing* on the freshly delivered cheese 'n onion pastries in kidney gravy, sloshed down with a 'cancel-the-swimming-training-I'm-grossly-fat' custard tart for 'afters'. So, hardly surprising that the 'Diet Pie' concept confused me. I'm guessing that Greggs are now offering a 'reduced' fat puff for the weight conscious. 'Reduced fat', of course, meaning 'a bit of a smaller portion', or '99% fat only'. It's food industry knavery.
There's no point Govt. complaining about obesity and not regulating the dishonest food industry, is there? (I'm still reeling about Ginsters healthy snack 'solutions'). Anyway, I wish someone had pointed out the dangers of the two crust (and smoky bacon crisps, choc Hob Nobs, doughnuts, Milk Tray, Frosties & Drifters) to me as a tween. I feel sorry for my younger pie-eyed, pig-ignorant self. I blame my poor, put upon Mum. We lived above a pie/pizza/chip/sweet/booze/sandwich/grocery store during my formative years, and the corned beef 'n onion barm cakes she'd make for the 'deli' minded passing truckers made me violently ill. Catering Margerine nearly took my life. If you've never had it, it's way wayyyy worse than 'Stork'. The taste and texture conjures a sensation of having wiped your tongue in the pussing moob fat of a bloated syphilitic cadaver recently dragged from a toxic waste plant. It'll put you off animal fats for life...
No matter how fastidiously we prepared my sandwich, in isolation of any thing which had come in contact with the evil marg., somehow a smidgen of the synthetic yak would rub its way onto my Corned Dog Bap. It was then that Mum (exasperated by my picky tastes and mistrust of her food prep.), suggested I eat pie produce for lunch; delivered freshly every day, full of quality ingredients, and, crucially, made by someone else. 'It's only shortcrust, meat, and vegetables'. (Yeah, like the time Falafel King said Falafel was just 'beans and pulses', no deep fat fryer here officer).
So in addition to Sat Fats tax, they should post some sort of laminated [1] warning of the cons of pies for everyday use, and the pros of regular exercise in every fast food outlet, school dining hall and maternity unit in the land, with the added note that a desperate dash to the Cornish Bakery Outlet does *not* constitute vigorous exercise. Mind you, digesting a 'Wigan Kebab' [2] probably would.
[1] They will hock their meaty ketones on it.
[2] Miles, I hope this isn't lost on you...
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