Birthday homage to The Louche Perspective's post about Monikisms.

10 things my other half said, which might explain any expectorant on my screen/book/walls...

1. (Menacingly). "If you don't let me read your blog entries about me before you publish them, I'm going to start writing profanities all over it"

2. (Pensively). "I've always wanted a silver birch"

3. (Like a 5 yr old boy swinging his feet around the pedestal). "Can you pass me the wet loo roll?"

4. (Admonishingly). "If you get too hot and take your pyjamas off in the night... can you try and do it without waking me up this time?"

5. "A bush should be a uniform colour. Not with smatterings of purple here and there."

6. (Piquantly). "Can't you pull your stomach in when you shower? I'm trying to watch here ;-)"

7. (Assertively). "Full leather seats are either too kinky, or too sweaty". (When did it become *or*?)

8. (Barely jokingly). "Shall I call your granddad to see what he thinks about your behaviour?"

9. (In a somewhat parental tone). "Is your hair falling out?"

10. (Gravely). "The less you talk, the quicker I'll be"

Happy Birthday to The Louche Perspective